What do you do if an elephant charges you?

Pay him! (submitted by Andy Akle)

Who is big and wears glass slippers?

Cinderelephant! (submitted by Danielle)

How can you tell if there's an elephant under your bed?

Your nose is touching the ceiling! (submitted by MegaMeg)

Why did the elephant eat the stupid man?

Because someone said he was "nuts"! (submitted by Kristen Currie)

How do you shoot a purple elephant?

With a purple elephant gun! (submitted by Bob Thomsen)

How do you shoot a pink elephant?

You hold his trunk until he turns purple, and then shoot him with a purple elephant gun! (submitted by Bob Thomsen)

What weighs 4,000 pounds and sings?

Harry Elephante! (submitted by DB)

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don't, you get down from a duck! (submitted by Karry)

How many elephants can dance on the head of a pin?

None, Elephants can't dance! (submitted by KEHAAS)

Why can't an elephant ride a tricycle?

Because they don't have thumbs to ring the bell! (submitted by Dizzy Izzy)

How do you get out of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out! (submitted by Stacey Trapp)

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs! (submitted by Nikki-Nik)

Why was the elephant red?

You would be too if you had so many jokes told about you! (submitted by Luke Richardson)

Why do elephants paint their toenails?

So they can hide in packages of M&M's! (submitted by Georgia Wildcat)

What did the natives do when they saw an elephant running down the path?

They ran! (submitted by Stacey#1)

What did the natives do when they saw an elephant with sunglasses on running down the path?

Nothing, they didn't recognize him! (submitted by Stacey#1)

Why did the elephant have a lousy vacation?

The airline lost his trunk! (submitted by Elizabeth & Amanda)

What do a grape & an elephant have in common?

They're both purple, except for the elephant! (submitted by gloriafan)

How do you fit an elephant into a matchbox?

Take out the matches! (submitted by Jody Laden)

How do you fit a tiger into a match box?

Take out the elephant! (submitted by Jody Laden)

Why don't elephants like to go swimming?

Because its hard to keep their trunks up! (submitted by Ashley)

What do you do when you're stuck in an elephant's stomach?

Run around till you get pooped out! (submitted by Josh R.)

How do you make an elephant float?

Add an elephant to 2 scoops of vanilla ice cream & some milk! (submitted by Amy)

What do you get if you cross a jaguar and an elephant?

A car with a big trunk! (submitted by Luis)

Why did the elephant paint his feet yellow?

So he could hide upside down in the custard! (submitted by Helen & Matthew)

What is gray with 16 wheels?

An elephant on roller skates! (submitted by Carly Fairchild)

What do you do when an elephant stubs his toe?

Call a toe truck! (submitted by BAT)

What do you get when you cross a spider & an elephant?

I don't know, but if it crawls on the ceiling your roof will collapse! (submitted by Michael Farris)

Did you know that elephants never forget?

What do they have to remember! (submitted by Chloe, catz4)

What happened to Ray when he was stepped on by an elephant?

He became an X-Ray! (submitted by Shreya)

What is grey and has a trunk?

An elephant on vacation! (submitted by Kating56)

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree! (submitted by Jaret)

Why is a snail stronger than an elephant?

A snail carries its house, and an elephant only carries his trunk! (submitted by JLB)

Why is an elephant large, gray and wrinkled?

Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin! (submitted by Samantha)

Why is an elephant so wrinkled?

Because its too big to fit on an ironing board! (submitted by Ericka)

Why did the twin elephants get kicked off the beach?

Because they only had one pair of "trunks"! (submitted by Adam Ant)

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to fix the fence! (submitted by Katie B.)

Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?

So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate!

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge?

There are footprints in the butter!


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