What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
It cracks up! (submitted by Colleen Thomas)
Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?
It's pit-iful! (submitted by Ginnyboo)
What is the best day to have a cookout?
Friday! (submitted by **Meghan**)
What is red and goes up and down?
A tomato in an elevator! (submitted by HAS)
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch! (submitted by Diane G.)
What happens when you sit on a grape?
It gives a little whine! (submitted by Akizora)
What is Noah's favorite fruit?
Pears (pairs)! (submitted by Janny Banany)
What did the pork chop say to the steak?
Nice to meat you! (submitted by Kayla Smith)
What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
Firecrackers! (submitted by Jessica)
What do peases, beanses and soupses come in?
Kansas! (submitted by Randy Rising)
What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
No thanks, I'm stuffed! (submitted by Laura in CT)
How does a molded fruit-flavored dessert answer the phone?
Jell-o! (submitted by Danielle 85)
How do you tease fruit?
Banananananananana! (submitted by Stephanie Fellner)
What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on its summer vacation! (submitted by Tuity Fruity)
When do you stop at green and go at red?
When you're eating a watermelon! (submitted by Adrienne)
What fruit was a great conqueror?
Alexander the Grape! (submitted by Teow Qingsen, Shawn)
How do you make a milkshake?
Creep up behind a cow and say BOO! (submitted by Araceli)
Where was the first donut made?
In Grease! (submitted by Pinkpanic)
What kind of bean doesn't grow in a garden?
A human bean! (submitted by Amelia West)
How did the farmer mend his pants?
With cabbage patches! (submitted by Felicia)
Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
Because it makes you break out! (submitted by Kare Bear)
What do you call artificial spaghetti?
Mockaroni! (submitted by JPR)
What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
He has a lot of ketchup time! (submitted by Stephanie Poist)
Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
He couldn't concentrate! (submitted by Nate)
How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste! (submitted by Laynie)
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because his parents were in a jam! (submitted by Lexi)
Why did the baby cookie cry?
Because his mom was a wafer so long! (submitted by Lexi)
What did the macaroni say to the tomato?
Don't get saucy with me! (submitted by Mike)
How do you make a strawberry shake?
Take it to a scary movie! (submitted by Luis)
Why are cooks mean?
Because they beat the eggs and whip the cream! (submitted by Jessamyn D.)
What did the hamburger name his daughter?
Patty! (submitted by Aubs)
What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A deviled egg! (submitted by Hannah Banna)
If a carrot & a cabbage ran a race, who would win?
The cabbage, because it is a head! (submitted by kar)
How do you turn soup into gold?
Put 14 carrots in it! (submitted by A.G.)
Why can't the magician tell his magic secrets in the garden?
The corn has ears & the potatoes have eyes! (submitted by shelly-bean)
What candy lives in outer space?
The Milky Way! (submitted by Scoober)
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing! (submitted by Jimmy Gregory)
What is blue and goes up and down?
A blueberry in an elevator! (submitted by Nikki Young)
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef! (submitted by Carmel)
Why doesn't the corn like the farmer?
Because he picks their ears! (submitted by Ianeda Roudpa)
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (submitted by Meagan G.)
What type of cheese do dogs like on their pizza?
Mutts-erella! (submitted by Whazup99)
What is yellow and goes click-click?
A ballpoint banana! (submitted by Scott)
What type of fruit steals honey?
Yogi Pear! (submitted by James Green)
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake! (submitted by Diamond & Tyrel)
What goes up a fruit and comes down a vegetable?
A tomato...throw it up and it comes down a squash! (submitted by Beth)
What did the momma cookie say when her baby got run over?
Oh Crumbs! (submitted by Danielle)
What do you eat at a church supper?
Hymn-burgers! (submitted by Thomas)
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
He felt crummy! (submitted by Roxanne)
What kind of lettuce did they serve on The Titanic?
Iceberg! (submitted by Josh)
How did Ronald McDonald celebrate his engagement to Wendy?
He gave her an onion ring! (submitted by April)
What is green with red spots?
A pickle with measles! (submitted by anonymous)
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice! (submitted by Susie from PA)
A faucet, lettuce and a tomato were in a race...what happened?
The faucet was running, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup! (submitted by anonymous)
Why did the tomato get by the car?
It couldn't ketchup! (submitted by anonymous)
Why did the boy close the refrigerator door?
He didn't want to see the salad dressing! (submitted by Poppabear)
What do you call two banana peels?
A pair of slippers! (submitted by Matthew Eroskey)
Send me your jokes & riddles...if I like them I'll post them, and give you the credit! Just click on the envelope below, type out your joke, and tell me the name or nickname that you want me to post with it.
Joke-O-Rama Home