What did the shaggy dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?
The wrong answer! (submitted by candy)
Why does the letter A look like a flower?
Because a b(bee) always comes after it! (submitted by Nate)
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet! (submitted by Doppler Dave)
What form of math discusses plant growth?
Geometry (Gee-I'm a Tree)! (submitted by Mathew)
When does a cart come before a horse?
In the dictionary! (submitted by Marissa Danna & Jenna Kastan)
What two letters of the alphabet contain nothing?
MT! (submitted by Kayla)
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils! (submitted by Colin)
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear! (submitted by Michelle)
Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
Because she wanted to test the waters! (submitted by Andrew Hyduchak)
What is the center of gravity?
The letter V! (submitted by Spoiled Brat)
What letter is found in a cup?
T! (submitted by Christina Boateng)
How do you know if your teacher likes you?
She keeps putting X's on your paper! (submitted by Emily Nye)
When was The Great Depression?
Last week, when I got my report card! (submitted by Danzy)
Why did the class clown give a dog biscuit to Katie?
Because he heard she was the teacher's pet! (submitted by HLS)
Science Teacher: Who can tell me what an atom is?
Student: The guy who went out with Eve! (submitted by Bub Bye)
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they're all in High School! (submitted by Ella Kate)
What room can a student never enter?
A Mushroom! (submitted by Rachel)
What has 3 feet and no legs?
A yardstick! (submitted by Jerry)
What occurs 4 times in every week, 2 times in every month, & once in a year?
The letter E! (submitted by Jessica C.)
What do you get when you add 13 hospital patients to 13 hospital patients?
Twenty Sicks! (submitted by Blue Al)
Who is your best friend at school?
Your princi-pal! (submitted by Kimberly)
What has four eyes but can't see?
Mississippi! (submitted by Julian McAdams)
How do you spell Hard Water with 3 letters?
ICE! (submitted by Gwynneth Leece)
Why did the girl turn in her math book?
It had too many problems! (submitted by Re)
What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a day?
The letter M! (submitted by Joe)
Is a hammer a good tool for math class?
No, you need multi-pliers! (submitted by Jonathan S.)
Why did the Cyclops stop teaching?
Because he only had one pupil! (submitted by Gino)
What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T?
A teapot! (submitted by sow)
What is the study of back-to-school shopping?
Buy-ology! (submitted by Becca)
What school do you greet people in?
Hi School! (submitted by justin)
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
25, because the Angel said Noel! (submitted by The Cat)
Why was the students report card all wet?
Because it was below C (sea) level! (submitted by Monica)
Did you know that grasshoppers have antennae?
Cool, do they get cable? (submitted by Monica J.M.)
My teacher blamed me for something I didn't do!
My homework! (submitted by Monica J.M.)
What is the difference between me and you?
You is longer! (submitted by Tom)
Why did the silly student bring his homework to the movies?
Because the teacher told him to date his paper! (submitted by Magic)
Why was the book in the hospital?
Because it broke its spine! (submitted by Magic)
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
neither, they both weigh a ton! (submitted by T.T.)
"Railroad Crossing, watch for cars...How do you spell that without any R's?
THAT! (submitted by anonymous)
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8(ate) 9! (submitted by Kara)
What two days of the week start with the letter "T"?
Today and Tomorrow! (submitted by Tiffany)
How many seconds are there in a year?
12...2nd of January, 2nd of February...! (submitted by Shreya)
Why is it dangerous to put the letter "M" into the refrigerator?
Because it changes ice into Mice! (submitted by Shreya)
What is 5Q + 5Q?
10Q...You're Welcome! (submitted by Allison)
What goes up and down but doesn't move?
The temperature! (submitted by anonymous)
What is the only class you can plant a flower in?
In Kindergarden! (submitted by Evie Tapp)
What is in the middle of America and Australia?
The letter R! (submitted by anonymous)
What flies around the school at night?
The alpha-bat! (submitted by Kim)
Why did the teacher bring crackers to her meeting?
Because it was a parrot-teacher conference! (submitted by Kim)
Why did Tommy take a ruler to bed?
Because he wanted to see how long he slept! (submitted by Anonymous)
Which candle burns longer, a red one or a green one?
Neither, they both burn shorter! (submitted by Anonymous)
What is a teacher's three favorite words?
June, July & August! (submitted by Katie)
Why does Mrs. Smith wear sunglasses in class?
Because her class is so bright! (submitted by Little Ann)
What's the difference between a train & a teacher?
A train says choo-choo & a teacher says "Spit out your gum"! (submitted by Emily B.)
What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
Smarty Pants!
What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?
An envelope!
Send me your jokes & riddles...if I like them I'll post them, and give you the credit! Just click on the envelope below, type out your joke, and tell me the name or nickname that you want me to post with it.
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